The next he knew Hank was shaking him awake and proferring a cup of coffee.
“What time is it mate?”
“Six and we have work today although I am feeling a little fragile thanks to you, you funny sod” he said with a wry smile. “I found the empty laxative sachet in the kitchen.”
Bill stopped mid gulp of his coffee, panic was written all over his face.
“Don’t worry you twat. I need decent staff on with me today, its half term so all the mums will phone in sick and the department will be busy with all the little darlings having accidents. On top of that I am in charge and there is no other sister or charge nurse on this morning. So drink up, get ready and drive me to work.”
With that he was gone humming to the living room and Bill soon heard the sound of breakfast TV. He finished his coffee and got ready. Arriving at work early they had breakfast at the canteen and then returned for handover. The looks on the night staffs faces did not bode well for the shift ahead. True to form it had been a particularly bad Friday night. All the staff were exhausted and the department was still full of the drunks who could’nt make it home or could not be forced from the department. And so the day began; three staff down and no bank or agency staff available. Bill was put in charge of resus and spent the next eight hours in there dealing with major traumas and cardiac arrests. On the bright side time just flew by and as he left resus at half three he saw that Hank had had just as bad a day. He was handing over to the late shift, They had seen an amazing hundred and twelve patients that morning and all had made it to the wards inside the four hour deadline. Wordlessly they set off for the car park and went home.
Half an hour later they were both sat drinking coffee in front of the telly. Bill was a bit on edge but felt that the air needed clearing.
“About this paedophile thing mate”
“Look you know my thoughts on it mate. It disgusts me and there is no way that I can condone it. It is one of the few things which really rile me and I will have nothing to do with it and that is final.”
Bill sat open mouthed, not believing what he was hearing. He hated paedophiles as much as the next man and Hank knew that. Christ he thought, that fat Irish bastard had labeled him as a paedo and was now preaching to him.
“You two faced wanker..”
“Ah hold on fella, I am taking the piss. Listen I phoned the fuzz while you were in the shower and tried explaining everything. They were a bit dubious but I think that when they reflect on the whole situation all will be well. So stop worrying and get a couple of beers from the fridge; just steer clear of schools for a while.”
“Funny fucker” Bill said “but thanks for phoning them. On the same sort of theme could we lay off the piss taking for a while. I need to concentrate on work for a bit and the last thing I need is to be looking over my shoulder all the time.”
“Yeah no worries mate, but get the bloody beer will you. The rugby starts in five minutes and then Saturday night awaits us.”
So the Saturday afternoon took a familiar turn. A few hours spent drinking at home and watching rugby followed by a trip to the Stoke. The bar was heaving and it took a while to get to the bar where as usual two pints stood waiting for them. Looking around Hank just saw opportunity whilst Bill saw his life going nowhere but downhill. Despondency closed in upon him. Within ten minutes Hank was sat at a table with three young ladies regaling them with tales of derring do, some of which were actually true. Bill tried to join in the fun but his mind was elsewhere. After another twenty minutes; two pints and four shorts he made his excuses and left. Hank winked at him and waved a cheery goodbye.
Outside the evening had turned cold and Bill turned up the collar of his coat against the biting wind and in his half pissed state decided on a brisk walk to help him formulate his plans for the future. First he had to work out where the problems lay and that did not take much working out. If he were being brutal it could be summed up in one word, Hank. On reflection that was not strictly speaking true. He had not been forced into anything and if he were honest with himself he had enjoyed the ride. The drinking and partying was fun and they had truelly had a laugh. But it was time to change, he was getting no younger and the future was only a day away. The thing was that as long as he kept drinking at the rate he was then there was no way to move forward. Looking up he saw that he was passing the council adult education centre and decided to pass some time looking at what was available. Pottery, woodwork, literacy and witchcraft were just a few. About to leave the window display he noticed that they also ran AA sessions. Turning and walking home he gave this some thought. Was he an alcoholic? No surely not. He enjoyed a drink certainly and drank more than anyone he knew apart from one. No he could not be a wino, they were all unemployed bums; were’nt they? He was a fairly well paid professional after all. Drink had affected his work on occasion and landed him in quite a bit of trouble. In his semi drunken state he decided that this was the wrong time to be considering something of such importance.
Turning the key in the lock he heard the sound of Barry White drifting down the stairs. Hank had obviously scored and was working his strange and unexplained magic. Christ there would be no sleep tonight, all he could look forward to was a night of grunts and squeaks and headboard banging. He realized that he might forget all he had thought about so made his way to the kitchen and wrote himself a note, to remind himself to question whether or not he was an alcoholic and then made his way to the living room to face the depravity.
