The stoke arms was packed three deep at the bar when Bill and Hank had entered and both thought of moving elsewhere when two pints of Guinness were passed back to them. They looked over at the bar and saw the landlord with his thumbs up. They drank their pints and as the pub quietened made their way over for a refill. Dave the landlord grabbed two empty glasses, “Same again lads”
“cheers fella.”
“Aye cheers hi. Impressed with you mate. How did you get those pints poured so quickly? We had only just set foot in the door.”
“ah well I saw the two of you walking up the road through the window and as we were busy I thought I’d pour two for you to save you any bother.”
“yeah but Dave how did you know we were coming here for a drink? I mean what would you have done if we had walked past and not come in?”
“Well it’s never happened before. £8.90 please lads.”
Bill and Hank made their way to a table. It had been three nights since the ménage a trios night and they hadn’t really spoke since. Mainly because Hank had been on nights.
“so nights went well then?”
“Yeah not to bad. Night sister was a cunt but you now what she’s like. Always flapping over nothing.”
“why what happened?”
“Oh the bitch phoned me at one o’clock in the afternoon, I was in my pit, and she was flapping about something I didn’t do.”
“so did you put her right. Can’t stand that woman, she has it in for the navy, always trying to blame us for shit that isn’t our fault.”
“well no; when I said something I didn’t do I meant something I should have done but didn’t.” Hank pulled out his pipe and poured in some lighter fluid then tobacco. The blow torch was proving unsuccessful so now sat there with flames spewing out of the pipes bowl. “so yeah so we had this guy brought in about four in the morning and he was brown bread . But the morgue was full so I put him in the end cubicle. Filed his notes and then forgot to tell anyone. It wasn’t until lunchtime that any one noticed. Thing is one of the a grades had been going in every hour and doing observations on him. Saying he had a blood pressure of 120/60. Dozy bitch. So any way night sister got a call then she called me giving me grief.”
Bill went and got some more drinks in and sat down. As he sat down Hank was looking at his wrist distractedly.
“what’s up mate?”
“New watch is it Bill?”
“yeah, not bad is picked it up yesterday, batteries had gone in the old one.”
“how much did it cost?”
“50 quid”
“Did it by fuck.” Hank let out a sigh and poured some of his Guinness into the pipe to extinguish the flames. “so how’s things at home?”
“ah mate have had a big row with today, she is just got no common sense whatsoever. And she is so fucking selfish it’s unbelievable.”
“what about?”
“ah well I’ve got three days off and she wanted to know what I was doing, so I said I was coming for a pint with you tonight then fishing tomorrow, she then kicks off about me not spending enough time with her and always going out with my mates.”
“yeah but you wouldn’t stop her going out would you, if she doesn’t want to that’s not your fault”
“That’s what I said. Then she goes on about spending more time drinking with you than with her, which is a load of bollocks. I said you’ve been on nights and we’ve always gone for a pint the first night and besides I’m fishing on my own tomorrow. Then she goes on about not seeing her gran and that she’s back from some trip thing tomorrow and she wants to see her in case it’s her last chance.”
“why what’s wrong with her nan”
“fuck knows mate, she got told she had four months to live three years ago and the family are now over protective. Wouldn’t mind mate but she’s fit enough to go to Mexico
“Yeah sounds like a plan dude.”
Next morning Bill picked Hank up and they headed out to Tavistock to the fish farm. There was a steady drizzle but the day was warm if slightly overcast. Bill pretended to know what he was doing and discussed which flies to use for the conditions with any poor sod who would speak to him. Hank stuck a big colourful fly on the end of his line, unsure as to whether it was a sinking line or what and threw it into the water about 5 metres from the bank, a good cast for him. He then took out his hip flask and had a quick swig before offering it to Bill who looked at him askance; “ you drinking already mate?”. “Nah, not really, just a drop to keep the chill out.”
“But its not cold…ah never mind not for me it’s a bit early”.
So the morning passed, a couple of decent trout were caught and the mood turned thoughtful. Bill was wondering about Rosey and if he was treating her right. Perhaps he had rushed into things and maybe she needed a bit more attention from him. He thought about asking Hanks opinion but was unsure of how to broach the subject. After all Hank had made his thoughts clear on several occasions, he did not like her. He had however helped them out in the bedroom and had even kissed Rosey goodnight after ensuring that she was sated so maybe he could see it from Bills point of view.
Hanks thoughts were elsewhere. He wanted his 50 quid, not for the cash so much as for the principle, he had offered to give Bill the money but Bill had insisted that it just be a loan until pay day and well that had come and passed and the fucker had bought a new watch, cushions, a 3 piece suite, new bed, house and a fucking engagement ring. It would have to be retrieved in a different manner, but how? Bill would have to start paying for things, and quick. So where to start.
“Fancy a pub lunch mate?”
“I should really get back to Rosey mate, you know spend some time with her, let her know that I care and all that.”
“You been reading women’s bloody magazines or something? So you go back and tell her you love her, have a cuddle on the sofa and maybe even try to have sex, then what? I’ll tell you. If you succeed in having sex you will want a kip and she will want to talk, not about anything in particular, just anything and she’ll want to cuddle. I mean did you see the way she clung to me the other night? I’ll tell you fella, save the sex for night in bed so you just grunt at her and fall asleep and you will be nearly cuddling her so she will be happy as well. So what about this pub lunch?”
Bill gave it some thought but still wasn’t sure. He quite fancied a couple of pints but not only did he feel that he should spend time with Rosey but he had to prepare for the Leading Rates Command Course, which he had to pass if he was to get promoted.
“I don’t know mate, even if I don’t have sex I should probably do some work for the LRCC. Do my presentations and prepare my kit, that sort of stuff”.
Hank sighed this was not working. “Fella the LRCC is a piece of piss, I did mine with no preparation and passed with flying colours, tell you what over a nice lunch and a pint I’ll tell you all about it and give you a few tips.”
Now this was starting to make sense, Hank had after all passed both his leading hands and senior rates command courses so he should have a good idea of what it was all about. Yeah, he would go for a pub lunch, get a few tips then go home and cook something special for Rosey.
An hour later they were in the pub. It was one of those places where you put your food order in at the bar paid and waited for the food to be brought to your table. Hank wanted Pie and chips but asked Bill to order as he needed the toilet. When he came back he found his food waiting and Bill looking pensive, obviously still worried about his missus. After muttering a few platitudes he tried moving the conversation onto happier ground but to no avail, Christ he would need another drink, so he asked Bill to get another pint in whilst he went to the heads again, he really didn’t know what was wrong with his bladder this afternoon. Returning to a fresh pint and a sour faced mate he sat down and thought that he would steer the conversation towards command courses, at least the he could spin some dits and tell some lies that might be amusing; also he would need to work out how to get the next pint off Bill.
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