Hank stood there open mouthed , not quite believing what he was seeing. What was the guy thinking of? Fair enough he had been single ever since he had known him. To be fair he hadn’t really seen Bill trap a girl in all the times he had been out. But to propose so soon when he didn’t even know the girl. And where did he get the money for a house? He still owed Hank £50 from last pay day and said he was broke.
Hank thought these thoughts and more and only realised when Bill and rosey was gazing at him expectantly that they were talking to him.
“what ? Sorry mate, I was miles away. I need a beer.”
“Er mate you just went to the fridge and got one. It’s in your hand”. Hank looked down and sure enough a can of lager was in his hand. “So what do you reckon then. Will you?”
“Will I what?”
“Be my best man at the wedding?”
“eh. ME? I’m not being funny mate and I’m honoured and all but don’t you think you should ask your best mate?”
“I am, mate. My god are you pissed or something. Don’t answer that.”
“no well yes, but I meant whatisname. Your best mate in civvy street.”
Bill looked at him nonplussed “who do you mean?”
“That bloke, you know. Sebastian was it? The guy who worked at the hairdressers, he came down to visit and stayed in your room for about three weeks. Mind you we haven’t “ Bill suddenly interrupted him.
“Any way mate can’t ask him, erm listen really want you to do it, will you? Anyway think about it, we’re off to buy a ring.” with that Bill and rosey left Hank in the kitchen of the flat . This was too much. He was buying a wedding ring. And now he doesn’t speak to his best mate Sebastian, even worse he doesn’t count him as a friend at all. It was a shame because those two guys were really close. And where the fuck was his £50.
They moved into the house and to celebrate rosey went and bought some rather revealing underwear and some nice food to prepare a meal for Bill when he finished work. She had worked really hard the past two weeks in getting furniture and organising the legal side of the house. She even bought a dozen roses and sprinkled the petals over the bed. She knew that Bill was working today and thought about phoning home. She hadn’t told her parents about Bill yet. Her gran was diagnosed terminally ill three years previously and yet was defying all medical experts by still being alive. She was currently on a hill walking holiday in the Andes and her parents were anxious. Especially since she was supposedly scaling the north face of machu picchu
Bill had had a quiet day at work and was decidedly quiet about moving in with his newly betrothed. He knew that Hank was a bit low at the prospect of living alone. They had only rented a flat three months previously and so Bill felt he was leaving him in the lurch financially. Especially how Hank was talking animatedly about wanting to buy a new cork screw for his collection. This one must have been special as for the past two weeks Hank had been saying he only needed £50 for it. Every conversation eventually came round to the fact that he was £50 short.
Bill was outside smoking a tab when Hank approached.
“alright fella how’s it hanging?” He enquired. Hank had recently purchased a pipe, trying to look wind swept and interesting but still couldn’t manage to keep it lit long enough. So he was stood there with a miniature blow torch in one hand and his pipe in the other. Every breath he brought up the blow torch and inhaled then coughed. Bill couldn’t see the appeal.
“yeah mate, quiet day for me, have you heard from rosey? She must be busy today. Still £50 short for that cork screw.”
Bill simply nodded. A lot of Hanks conversations came round to the cork screw recently. He admired him for having a hobby but was beginning to get a bit bored with him going on about it all the time. Besides he thought, it was probably his way of coping with him moving out. He felt guilty again.
“Hank I was thinking maybe we should go out for a few beers, we haven’t done that recently”
“no not since the weekend anyway. Thing is I’m on nights as of tomorrow so could only make tonight.”
“hmm tonight, not sure mate. Rosey will have spent all day moving my stuff in and you know how it is she’s probably tired. It’s a bit much to expect her to have ironed my clothes by the time I get home.”
“what do you need clothes ironing for, just t shirt will do. Pop round yours on the way and get some scran. I’ve nothing at the flat.”
“yeah ok mate, should be a laugh.”
“any way must be getting back. Need to find out if I can get some over time this week. Reckon I’d get about 50 quid for a late shift on a Sunday.”
“dunno”
“no , no I didn’t think you would some how.”
Both headed their separate ways, Hank to the pub and Bill home to Rosey. She had done herself proud. The smell of lasagne wafted in from the kitchen and there was a glass of wine waiting on the coffee table. As he sat back watching the news Rosey came in and said that dinner would be ready in about 20 minutes. They sat in comfort discussing the days events and he complemented her on what she had done with the house. She coyly agreed that she had been busy and it had taken a lot out of her, she would probably have an early night she said with smile in her eye. As they ate she once again said in endearing and coquettish manner that the bed was calling her, Bill threw her a knowing look and smiled broadly at her. After the dishes were done Rosey went upstairs with a spring in her step and Bill stayed to watch the news, when that was done he gave Hank a ring.
“You all right mate, what you up to?”
“ just having a couple of swift ones , what about yourself?”
“Fucking Rosey has pissed off to bed early so I’m just watching crap TV at the mo”.
“You might as well come down for a couple of pints then”
“nah, don’t think she’d like that, you know just having moved in and all that.”
“She’s asleep mate, she’ll never know and I’m not having a late one”
“Yea fair one, what pub you in “Stoke arms?”, right see you in 20 minutes”.
Two hours and eight pints later a serious conversation loomed. Hank obviously wasn’t happy with the way things were working out. Bill felt that he might be jealous of all the time that he was now spending with Rosey but he had to live his life.
“the thing is fella I’m worried about you. You hardly know Rosey and you’ve moved in with her already and got engaged after one shag, and to be honest she wasn’t that good, needed a lot of direction. Have you shagged her since?”
“The thing is Hank, its only been 23 days since I met her and what with buying the ring and the house and the furniture and the curtains and, well the list is endless we haven’t had time for sex.”
“ Ah well dude you can always move back in with me if it all falls apart and I do think that Rosey is a cunt. She didn’t listen to a word I said the other night. And no one else likes her. But they wont tell you that.”
Another four hours, two pubs and a night club passed and the two found themselves at Bill’s new house. Hank crashed out on the sofa whilst Bill gingerly made his way up the stairs. 15 minutes later Hank was awoken by Bill shaking him.
“What’s up mate?”
“it’s a bit delicate mate but me and Rosey have just had a bit of a row and we were getting down to making up and I couldn’t quite manage, the old fella aint responding. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind coming up and sitting in the corner, you know and if its not too much trouble, doing that direction thing again?”
“No worries mate, I’ll be right there”
Hank got undressed and went up stairs. He climbed into bed and reassured them that it would all be ok. He gently started stroking the inside of her thigh and cooing in her ear. Bill wasn’t quite sure where this was going but knew that Hank had his best intentions at heart. It all became quite sordid and sweaty but he was pleased to see that Rosey was thoroughly enjoying herself. Eventually Bill got his turn and with direction and demonstrations managed to show her a good time too.
“Cheers mate” he said.
“Don’t mention it mate, what are friends for?” and with that Hank kissed Rosey goodnight and got out the bed and returned to the sofa.
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